My mother is from a generation where you "sit and visit". This means that 1. we sit for hours and 2. she has the opportunity to tell me, in detail, the events of her life. There are only 22-years difference in our ages, but in my generation we're lucky to sit with someone for 1-hour, let alone several and we rarely speak in detail.
For me, at times, this is a painful exercise. However, for my mother, it is the only gift she asks for - please sit with me and listen while I tell you my stories. This gift is very inexpensive; a few days, several hours, occasional acknowledgement or question and no corrections when the stories aren't quite as I remember.
Until this last visit (she lives a distance away), I never realized that if you live long enough there comes a time where the friends and acquaintances that you make are dying off at a rapid rate. Suddenly the witnesses to your history - spouses, childhood friends, work friends, those acquaintances that you pick up along the way all transition and leave you behind. You're left with looking at your own mortality, no one who really knows those little things about you, no one who has taken a lifetime to get to know you. Those who have stuck by you despite your quirks. Those who remember you when you were quite the deal. In my mother's case, I'm the only one left.
So when I go to see her, we sit and visit.
She talks about her history. She talks not as much about longtime friends as a waitress at a restaurant who takes the time to chat with her. The neighbors who stop by to visit when she's outside. The people at the pharmacy who remember her name and take a moment with her. The mail person who will bring her mail to the door sometimes and take a minute to talk. Her stylist who takes time with her. These people all make her feel that they are genuinely interested and care about her. They may touch her hand or brush her arm to give her the gift of touch.
If we live long enough, it is the kindness of our children and of strangers that will make our days interesting and fulfilling.
